Four years since the last post. Life is what happens when you blink your eyes. I do not consider this a triumphant return in any sense of the phrase. I turned to the blog (all three posts of it) when I was going through a bit of a weird, awkward, rough stretch in my life. I turn, again, to writing when it seems like I have to do something to express myself. I should not have abandoned this as I did and I have every intention of maintaining a more diligent upkeep of this project. With that being said, I started this blog as a "stream of consciousness" type of project as you can tell from the scatter brained and vulgar occurrences through previous posts. I am going to maintain that sort of mentality of writing what comes to mind and not delete things I have written save for spelling or grammar errors. I am, however, going to try and sort my thoughts out before vomiting them onto the page. I am also going to throw in pictures too. That sounds like fun. Who doesn't love pictures? I mean, that is what I paid attention to in school, not this boring text blah blah blah...
**So, since we are pretty much starting from scratch, if you don't like what I have to say, then read the above picture. The internet is a vast and mysterious place, find somewhere else to squat.
AND FINALLY without further adieu, my thoughts from the week.
This last week reminds me of a quote from a famous novel by Charles Dickens.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way"
The last week has been both a blessing and a curse. A roller coaster in the utmost extreme sense of the word. One week ago tomorrow I was standing in front of someone signing papers to become an owner of a brand new car. I was growing up! I was becoming an adult! And damn, did it ever feel good. The new car smell made love to my nostrils and I was on cloud nine. I strike my signature 12 places and I drive off into the sunset to have a weekend full of beer and staying up far later than I should. Fast forward one week and I am in a hospital room trying to hold back tears as I am gathering courage to tell my grandmother that I love her for what might be the last time. Life does not take a break, nor does death. I sat there for hours with my family gathered round not knowing what the next breath could mean.
This week has taught me to not be so petty. That I shouldn't get so caught up with my own bubble. Extreme events can add perspective and it is the daily challenge we face to not lose sight of these perspective shifts. It is so difficult to maintain that mentality but I am sure to catch myself if I begin feeling self absorbed. Like a sponge fallen in dirty dish water, that sort of attitude can become toxic. Be well, live well and love well. Hopefully the next post has a cheerier tone to it; it is not my intent to be a "Debbie downer" but knowing it is always darkest before the dawn makes going through a tough patch easier. And having the best family and friends in the world doesn't hurt either.
Until next time.
